Chipped Gears FAQs
Answers provided by unofficial spokesman, Chip D’Ghyeires
Q: So, they write as a team. How does that work?
A: Apparently, very slowly. But here is the basic formula:
Q: How did they come together?
A: Well, they have been friends since the last Royal wedding. Don’t ask. Some years ago Stuart needed help getting the great American novel off the ground, so they had a few beers, more than a little Irish whiskey and promptly forgot all about it.
Sometime during the recovery process they each remembered the pretense for the previous evening; they separately framed out a storyline based on a vague memory of the discussions; in another blurry evening they melded the stories together and they’ve been getting blurry ever since. It turns out hops and grain are fertilizer for the mind. Honest.
Q: Do they ever disagree? And how do they handle that?
A: Consider this. Stuart is about 2 inches taller than Stephen, and has twenty pounds of muscle on him. He’s trained in hand-to-hand combat, and, allegedly, carries concealed weapons. There’s a darkness behind his eyes that says, “They’ll never find your body.”
By contrast, Stephen played saxophone in the High School marching band. His most notable physical features are his nose, ears, Adams apple, and spectacle lenses designed by NASA for space exploration. He worked for a defense contractor, which helps keep that pasty white complexion, and has the same work-out regime as veal.
Honestly, Stephen rarely disagrees with Stuart.
But just in case I keep leather tethers, a wooden stake, and one sharp knife available in case they want to settle it in an Indian Death Match.
Q: Are they, you know, a couple?
A: There it is! I knew it wouldn’t be long for that question to come up.
Don’t bother asking them. They’re in denial. Let’s say the phrase “bro-mance” is used liberally to describe their relationship. Oh yeah, they hide behind marriages and children, but I’ve seen better beards in my time. If you want to see them squirm, ask them some time ‘if you had to be stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would it be?’ They get so conflicted they twitch. It’s hysterical.
Q: Where do they get their inspiration?
A: Inspiration? Ha! But, okay, it’s your question. We’ll go with “inspiration”. You’ll see from the bio’s that Stuart has a long history in what I call ‘psuedo’ law enforcement. He hasn’t been capturing crooks. But he has held, what’s the word, oh yeah, “rehabilitative” positions for many years. And largely in Camden N.J., which if you follow the most dangerous cities, you’ll have heard of. In this job, on the Intensive Supervision Program (ISP), Stuart works with early release convicts to monitor their assimilation back into society at a very personal level, including unannounced visits to their homes and jobs at all hours of the day or night. So he has seen some shit up close and personal. That composite experience is where he draws the stories from. Stephen has been living vicariously through Stuart for an embarrassingly long time. He has even ridden with Stuart on occasion. He has some idea of what it’s like. He’ll even try to gain credibility by telling you about the “eye opening” experience he had delivering medical equipment to Camden residents as a summer job. It’s awkward.
Q: If they have been at this for so long without producing anything, how do we know they’re serious about it?
A: Damn good question. I can tell you, these guys, individually, do not have the attention span of a fruit fly. But on this project, well, they worked for three years without telling a soul. Not their wives, children, friends, me, nobody knew what they were doing. They knew their own reputation. They knew they’d get grin-fucked and eye-rolled. Anybody that knows them would bet against this project ever coming to fruition. So it wasn’t until they had convinced themselves, and they had written over two hundred pages, that they felt comfortable with stepping out of the shadows with their intentions. So, are they serious? Even I am coming to believe. Are they good? You’ll have to judge. Are they marketable? Hell yeah. The world loves clowns, or hates clowns, either way people feel strongly about clowns.
A: Apparently, very slowly. But here is the basic formula:
- Work a day job.
- Come home and neglect the family. Maybe even do some writing.
- Meet in the Chipped Gears dungeon once a week.
- Crank up some classic Rock.
- Sip some Irish whiskey and down a couple beers. Repeat. Often. (Very important)
- Swap the results of the weeks writing assignment.
- Profusely compliment each other on the excellent work.
- Exchange work and ‘tweak it up’.
- Discuss the next weeks assignments. This is the time when they usually laugh themselves to tears. Only half of these discussions are acceptable outside the dungeon.
- Repeat for frickin’ years.
Q: How did they come together?
A: Well, they have been friends since the last Royal wedding. Don’t ask. Some years ago Stuart needed help getting the great American novel off the ground, so they had a few beers, more than a little Irish whiskey and promptly forgot all about it.
Sometime during the recovery process they each remembered the pretense for the previous evening; they separately framed out a storyline based on a vague memory of the discussions; in another blurry evening they melded the stories together and they’ve been getting blurry ever since. It turns out hops and grain are fertilizer for the mind. Honest.
Q: Do they ever disagree? And how do they handle that?
A: Consider this. Stuart is about 2 inches taller than Stephen, and has twenty pounds of muscle on him. He’s trained in hand-to-hand combat, and, allegedly, carries concealed weapons. There’s a darkness behind his eyes that says, “They’ll never find your body.”
By contrast, Stephen played saxophone in the High School marching band. His most notable physical features are his nose, ears, Adams apple, and spectacle lenses designed by NASA for space exploration. He worked for a defense contractor, which helps keep that pasty white complexion, and has the same work-out regime as veal.
Honestly, Stephen rarely disagrees with Stuart.
But just in case I keep leather tethers, a wooden stake, and one sharp knife available in case they want to settle it in an Indian Death Match.
Q: Are they, you know, a couple?
A: There it is! I knew it wouldn’t be long for that question to come up.
Don’t bother asking them. They’re in denial. Let’s say the phrase “bro-mance” is used liberally to describe their relationship. Oh yeah, they hide behind marriages and children, but I’ve seen better beards in my time. If you want to see them squirm, ask them some time ‘if you had to be stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would it be?’ They get so conflicted they twitch. It’s hysterical.
Q: Where do they get their inspiration?
A: Inspiration? Ha! But, okay, it’s your question. We’ll go with “inspiration”. You’ll see from the bio’s that Stuart has a long history in what I call ‘psuedo’ law enforcement. He hasn’t been capturing crooks. But he has held, what’s the word, oh yeah, “rehabilitative” positions for many years. And largely in Camden N.J., which if you follow the most dangerous cities, you’ll have heard of. In this job, on the Intensive Supervision Program (ISP), Stuart works with early release convicts to monitor their assimilation back into society at a very personal level, including unannounced visits to their homes and jobs at all hours of the day or night. So he has seen some shit up close and personal. That composite experience is where he draws the stories from. Stephen has been living vicariously through Stuart for an embarrassingly long time. He has even ridden with Stuart on occasion. He has some idea of what it’s like. He’ll even try to gain credibility by telling you about the “eye opening” experience he had delivering medical equipment to Camden residents as a summer job. It’s awkward.
Q: If they have been at this for so long without producing anything, how do we know they’re serious about it?
A: Damn good question. I can tell you, these guys, individually, do not have the attention span of a fruit fly. But on this project, well, they worked for three years without telling a soul. Not their wives, children, friends, me, nobody knew what they were doing. They knew their own reputation. They knew they’d get grin-fucked and eye-rolled. Anybody that knows them would bet against this project ever coming to fruition. So it wasn’t until they had convinced themselves, and they had written over two hundred pages, that they felt comfortable with stepping out of the shadows with their intentions. So, are they serious? Even I am coming to believe. Are they good? You’ll have to judge. Are they marketable? Hell yeah. The world loves clowns, or hates clowns, either way people feel strongly about clowns.